People rarely “listen.” It’s that elusive quality to which women are more prone to developing, and to which men generally don’t understand. Period.

Both professionally and personally, the benefits of listening (actually) are inestimable. But just as it takes discipline to think about your life, it also takes discipline to remove the blinders that keep you from missing valuable stuff. Listening is not a passive activity.

When I was a much more junior executive, I was preoccupied with being heard during group meetings. This usually meant cataloging (what I thought were) my important points beforehand and then looking for opportunities to be noticed. What I had hoped to portray and what were ultimately communicated were two entirely different things. First of all, the decision makers at the table saw that I was decidedly not one, while other juniors saw me as ambitious (not the good type).

It wasn’t until years later that a mentor taught me the value of listening. The advice was intended to mitigate some of the nervousness and insecurity I felt when pitching to clients or reporters, but it opened the door to an entirely new world about interpersonal communication. Besides the marked improvement in listening to what journalists were actually looking for, I discovered an overall betterment of my professional pursuits. Taking the time to develop this skill brought me closer to my work, knowing my employees, and putting my practice on a sharper trajectory upwards.

And yes, my wife likes me more as well.

I think we are witnessing the overall decay of professionalism, especially in the listening category. Shedding the egotistical shell which enables better listening is never an easy task, but believe me, the suggestion is worth it’s weight.

So many of us have got all too comfortable with the idea of “free” news. These are our online sources which we continually rely on for meaningful daily doses, but seldom count their costs. As print outlets have been dropping off in record numbers, the idea of a paper’s usefulness is called into question. Websites are eager to generate unique users and happily share their hard-earned journalists with the public, for free.

It’s a fairly naive belief to think that this will last forever, or that it should. Financial Times (acting in accordance with its reputation) is leading the way; charging readers for content and not offering an apology. Bravo. Journalism worth reading is also worth paying for, regardless of what advertisers contribute to the running of a business.

Let’s admit it, we are an entitled public. Relative to other countries, American companies respond with more alacrity to changing consumer demands. Sometimes they do this at their own peril, unable to keep up our bulging appetites. Point being: we should happily pay for good journalism and reporting, just as we pay for other mainstays. Journalism (as the fourth estate), is thankfully not underwritten by our taxes, nor should it ever be. Advertising dollars are fantastic when you can come by them in a troubled economy, but really, the news isn’t owed to us.

All too often, young and tenured professionals alike make the mistake of NOT asking for help. Whether it’s the insecurity of not being current or understanding new material – not requesting help is a galactic rookie flaw.

The point of being successful in your job should be, well, self evident. I’ve seen too many marketing and PR “experts” wave their right to critical insights simply because that, in their elevated position, there’s a feeling they shouldn’t have to. That it’s better to position yourself as “in the know,” and wing it.  (People like this frequently end up in swank executive roles, only to have the rug swept from underneath them when faced with real challenges.)

Young professionals simply need to grow. Recently, I gave a young project manager at our office a significant task – slightly outside of her usual bailiwick. It was so refreshing to have her first digest the information, and then come back to me with a number of question on how to manage goals, expectations, and some direction on how to accomplish our objectives. My reaction wasn’t critical on her level of experience, but rather, praise for her honesty and willingness to do the job well.

In my experience of dealing with Fortune 100 execs and thoroughly talented business thinkers, it is clear to me why these individuals accomplish substantial goals. They have a genuine interest in the advancement of their pursuits and understand, amongst many other things, that asking for help is simply a means of achieving their ends. On the other hand, executives that feel “posturing” is more important than substance will (eventually) find their place among applicants and middle management.

Reuters just released their “Handbook of Journalism” – rarely seen by the public but now available here. This brought up a few thoughts. The first is the acknowledgment that there is a push-pull relationship between the media and publicists, the health of which must be stewarded by both sides. The second, and perhaps more important, is that our industry is in need of discipline — much like the kind that Reuters insists of their journalists.

Our industry lobby, the Public Relations Society of America or PRSA, has done an admirable job in encouraging a greater sense of obligation and gravitas for publicity professions. But there are many, both young professionals and seasoned veterans, who fail to appreciate the importance of their jobs. They seek the glitzy trappings of our profession, but mistake our purpose for that, of a pure “sales” profession. Not that there’s anything wrong with sales; in fact, an important part of our job involves selling ourselves to journalists. But the prominence of a “sales” mentality often times limits the integrity of messaging.

Push and pull. The perception is that publicists push for things, and journalists pull back—rebuffed by the presence of an interlocutor. The negative reaction is sometimes based in ignorance about what publicists bring to the table. But other times, it stems from harmful experience they’ve had with publicists who don’t respect journalists or their boundaries. As publicists, we represent clients, professions and people seeking media approval. The least we can do is to be considerate and disciplined enough to learn what media professionals are looking for in their story. Using the Reuters code, and imitating the rigor good journalists demonstrate when reporting news, we should pay more attention to the importance of our field, and get closer to PR professionals and farther away from spin doctors.

We aid the news reporting process. Paying closer attention to how our ideas fit, and are received, into that process is paramount. Lead with content, relevance, and respect – I’m certain our friends at the 4th estate (the media) will be receptive to your call.